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Some days, you just can't.....

There are some days on this planet, when words just are not enough. Some days that you can't communicate how you are feeling or find meaning in it all. Sometimes you just have to say what is on your heart and it has to be enough, even if all the words are wrong. Today is one of those days.

One of the passions my husband and I have always shared, is a love for basketball. Sometimes the game makes our hearts soar. Sometimes the game breaks our hearts. We love two different teams and neither of them are the Lakers. He's a Blazer fan, I'm a Thunder fan (both based on where we are from). We can respect and cheer for each other's teams, as long as they don't play each other. But we both have such love and admiration for great players of the game. We both adore Michael Jordan and I'm a die hard Russell Westbrook fan! There are just so many amazing players who have played this incredible game, I could go on forever.

Today started out like any other Sunday, I was making lunch, my hubby was playing League of Legends which he loves. He got up to turn something on tv and I hear "Wait, Wait, what? What? WHAT? NO no no" I've never heard him sound like that, so I came immediately in to see what happened. My husband was just standing there saying nothing and he sat down with his back to me and I had no idea what was going on and then I saw the tv screen.

On the screen in front me was the news that Kobe Bryant, basketball great, his sweet 13 year old daughter and seven other people lost their lives in a horrible helicopter crash in CA. I had to sit down, it didn't feel real, I actually felt physically sick. I know to some it doesn't make sense and that's ok. But when you really love something with your whole heart, you grow to deeply love and admire those connected to it. They inspire you, encourage you, teach you. You laugh with them, cry with them, fight with them winning and losing. So when something happens to them, it's as devastating as if it were someone in your own family. Athletes, actors, musicians, writers etc, they get us through some of the worst and some of the best times in our lives. And when you love the game of basketball the way we do, you respect and admire anyone who brings greatness to that game. I cried for the loss of the player and the man he became. I cried for Kobe's wife and how ripped open her heart must be right now. I cried for all the families who are now missing brothers, sons, husbands, fathers, siblings. I feel things so deep.

So today was a tragic and heartbreaking y. I want to make sure I fully acknowledge all of the magnitude of what happened today, because it wasn't just the loss of the Mamba #24. He brought so much to the game an I watched him grow and change into a good human being all past aside. But the loss of his precious daughter, and the loss of seven other precious lives. I know there is heartbreak and devastation in all of the loss. I know sometimes we do get so caught up in our own feelings, and in the media or celebrity of it all,we lose track of the humanity. I think we all understand that nine people were killed in that crash, multiple families are hurting right now and Kobe wasn't any more important than any of them.

But the loss of Kobe Bryant was felt extra hard. Not because he mattered more, he didn't. Not because his life was worth more, all of those human lives were precious and all of them mattered equally. But because of the incredible player he was and because of the amazing man he became. He transcended the game, and he found a way to reach out to impact people in a positive way around the world. And the reason it's hard is because so many lost their mentor, their encourager, their inspiration, their reason to fight, their favorite, their childhood hero. And it hurts like losing a family member. So please, don't negate or condemn them for grieving because it was a celebrity. Don't yell at them for not acknowledging the other victims. They know that eight other people died.

What you don't know is what Kobe Bryant got them through. You can't imagine the times they got back up because he never quit. You didn't see the times they were so close to ending it but something he said, something he did shut them down and they fought on another day. And I pray with all my heart they keep on fighting. You didn't see the times they almost gave up and the Mamba mentality kicked in. That was Kobe Bryant.

Each time a tragedy like this happens, my thoughts are always the same. Why do we wait to show someone the impact they have on our lives until after they are gone. Don't wait. But also love yourself, forgive yourself, inspire yourself, push yourself. Lets the be the greatest version of ourselves we can be. Let's push past our own hurt and fear and insecurity and pain and make the time we have on this planet count. Every story matters no matter how insignificant you might feel your story is. I see you and I believe you can do this. We all have a story, how we tell that story is up to us. You can't change the past, but you can change the direction your story takes from here.


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